After getting a ride to the airport (tack, Filip!) and jumping on my plane, the shock of leaving Sweden finally set in. Of course, I was sad about leaving Uppsala and was close to tears a few times but really the idea of not seeing them again for years, maybe forever in some cases, didn't hit home until I was in my seat and starting to zone out during the safety videos.
Where will everyone be when I have enough money and the time to go back? Will we stay close enough for me to come back to see them? How long can a close friendship last without real physical and face-to-face contact?
I had so many questions floating around in my head that the level of certainty I left Uppsala with regarding how well I could maintain these friendships began to crumble. However, actually landing in Newark and settling back into New York has had the relatively interesting effect of soothing my anxiety and increasing my desire to go back.
On the plane, I also made friends with the guy sitting next to me, Mark, and his brother. They were heading to NYC from Stockholm for a 4 day vacation with their father. Interestingly, this Swede was very open and talkative from the start-- not very usual because the norm in Sweden is that you don't start a conversation with someone if you don't know them. Perhaps our conversation was instigated by the fact that he knew I was American. Curious. Chatting with him made the otherwise uneventful trip quite enjoyable.
Upon landing, Mark and his brother craned their necks to see out the windows and remarked on how different the skyline was as compared with their native Stockholm. That was definitely something I noticed when I traveled in Europe too-- the skylines are older with beautifully engineered structures which may not be as tall as our skyscrapers, but make up for height in grace and age.
When I left the airport with my parents I really saw how many large vehicles there were on the streets and was appalled at the sheer waste of it all. Who in the world needs an SUV when they live in the city? It's understandable if you have a job involving construction or if you have a trailer you need to pull around, but really what is the use of a gas guzzling monster if it isn't necessary?
A confession: I am a judgmental person. I was at my worst in the middle school years, steadily became less judgmental from senior year onwards, then toppled back down again after returning from Sweden. I think I've become more critical of the American lifestyle since coming back and the reverse culture shock has made it worse. When you get a glimpse of something closer to your ideal, it's harder to go back.
Being home is nice though. The house has the smell of spring nestled in every corner, my rabbit is still alive, my cactus is thriving, and I have all the Asian food I could ever eat. I have my loving family, friends who are working in the city this summer, and a wonderful boyfriend to come back to.
Some things have changed though, and not really for the better. My maternal grandparents have had some issues with their health and I think this has really taken a toll on them as well as my family. My grandmother has become especially snippy and often scolds my grandfather for minor things or nothing at all. Mounting tensions in their overcrowded home (my uncle and his family live there too) has also affected the overall health of everyone involved. Even my little sister who was so eager to stay close to home for college now can't wait to leave.
Usually there isn't much anyone can do in this type of situation, but I'm glad to be home so at least I can buffer the sharp edges of my grandmother's tongue. Apparently, as she told me this evening, she likes just hearing my voice so anytime she gets angry or annoyed, so long as I am there I can talk to her and calm her down. This at least takes some of my worry away from her blood pressure.
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On another note, here's a cool article Sarah showed me about parental leave in Sweden:
I admit to checking out some of the young fathers out on daddy dates. Who knew a stroller and cute baby could be the best accessory a man could have?
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