There are definitely advantages to traveling, that goes without saying, but there are just as many advantages to staying in one place. What I wish I'd done sooner was put down some roots here in Uppsala and gotten to know my fellow nation members. We'll always have regrets though, so all anyone can ever do is to live life with as few of them as possible.
I've learned so much from my time abroad that it's almost impossible to keep track of all the lessons. This post is to help do that, but more let everyone else know what wonders can be discovered when you leave your home and decide to set up shop elsewhere.
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First, when you are presented with a new opportunity, no matter what kind of opportunity it is, seize it by the throat and wring everything you can from it. Actually, that sounds a bit brutal doesn't it? I realize it might sound uncouth, but really "Get the most out of it" just doesn't convey the same type of mental imagery and also sounds a bit weak to me.
My opportunity was to go abroad. Did I get the most from it? I think so! Or at least I tried.
In terms of traveling, I don't think I've had such an amazing time before. I managed to see Paris, Granville, the Mont Saint Michel, San Malo, the Emerald Coast, and a few other places in Bretagne and Normandy I can't quite remember, Brussels, Waterloo, Louvain la Neuve, Bruges, Aachen, Maastricht, Amsterdam, Prague, Kutna Hora, Terezin, Kiruna, Björkliden, Abisko, Stockholm, Falun, Borlange, Rome, Copenhagen, and Helsingør.
Suffice it to say, after spending the first half of the semester running around, it was nice to stay put for a while. I believe I've definitely made the most of Ryanair and the Swedish rail system.
And have I made the most of my time here, rooted in Sweden?
I say that I wish I'd put roots down here in this beautiful city earlier, but now what I wish is that I'd had the opportunity to stay here longer than a semester. People have warned me about the Swedish mentality and how they act towards outsiders. They're supposed to be cold and distant until you break through their icy exterior and realize they're all cuddles and snapps. I don't think I've had to put forth so much effort as I thought I would, but perhaps that's because I came prepared. In any case, I believe wholeheartedly that I've achieved that and am proud to call some of the most amazing people I've ever met my dear friends.
Being open, honest, and outgoing can get you so far that it's hard to imagine how I might have survived here if I'd been just a smidgen shyer. Okay, so I could have survived, but I wouldn't have been able to live it up as I have been this past month and a half.
When I returned from Belgium and decided to stop traveling for a while, I figured it was as good a time as any to keep working. I'd worked once before as a barback for the pub with John (one of the barhosts) and really enjoyed it, and so looked forward to getting called back again for more work. Little did I know what wonders awaited me.
Before anyone else, I have to thank Hannes, the 3rd Curator of Varmlands Nation, for everything he's done, which is everything, essentially. I went in pretty late in the semester to sign up for work, and after talking to him and signing up, he recommended me for work when the bar hosts were looking for pub workers. He recommended me on the basis of a "good vibe," so to that, Hannes, I say tack så mycket!
I'm also really grateful to my friend John, one of the bar hosts, who was my first boss and really got me involved in the nation. He's probably one of the most easygoing and fun people I've met here. That's another reason I'm so sad to be leaving Sweden already-- all the people who I've become close to here in Varmlands Nation are so open, understanding, energetic, and full of life. These are people I can be ridiculous with without worrying how they'll perceive me. Sometimes they even increase the level of weirdness and ridiculousness I am capable of expressing.
After I'd worked at the pub a few more times, I became familiar with Linda, who works in the kitchen, and Klara, who is the Kitchen master, and Lotta, who works in the cafe and sometimes pub as well. These girls are so awesome, it's incredible. Demure Swedish girls? Not! They have so much energy and are so outgoing I can't understand how I didn't meet them earlier.
Then of course there's Christopher Robin, seriously one of the most adorable people I've ever met, Gustaf, who I nicknamed Vasaloppet the first day I met him, and Mikael and Gabriella, definitely two of the most sweet and loving people at the nation. There are people who I only got to know towards the end of my time here, like Gozzi, Filip, and Johan, and who I will be very sad to leave after knowing them for only this last short month. Of course there are others, but to list them all and explain how they've made my experience here so much richer would take much more than a simple blog post.
Once you've been "accepted" into a circle, then you know everyone. About a week after I started hanging out at Varmlands and working there regularly, I was immersed in a sea of Swedish love. Suddenly I had tripled my circle of friends and was incapable of understanding over half the notifications that popped up on my Facebook news feed. Another reason to learn Swedish.
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Second, whenever you're presented with a task, give more than 110%. People really appreciate hard work and especially if you're working with a smile.
I think because everyone was so open and because they welcomed me with open arms, I was that much more willing to do what I could for the nation. The pay is bad, but the company that I have while I'm there is priceless.
Serving is an awesome experience because you learn so much about how an organization operates, how to work with other types of people in a job that is more physically labor intensive than school courses, how to please other people, and have fun doing it. I love being a bar back and running up and down those 3 flights of stairs between the pub, main hall, and kitchen. I love greeting people at the door. I love being a bartender and doling out liquid fun, as well as learning to make new drinks.
The cool thing about working with bartenders too is that they tend to be not just an endless source of fun and cheer, but they are also very creative people. If you spend so much of your time mixing flavors and perfecting pouring layers, there's no way you'd be boring.
They also make cleaning FUN. Who knew? I actually enjoyed scrubbing the kitchen sink and mopping the floor. My mom would kill to have me clean at home like I do at the Nation, hahaha.
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My third and last lesson for this post is something I learned from Mattias Klum, a National Geographic photographer and the closest thing to a hero I've ever had, and that is to stay naked.
Nakedness in every sense of the word is not really seen as anything positive in our society. People become distrustful as they get older, walling themselves off from others, only opening up to certain people and socializing in familiar circles.
Mattias Klum explained to a very excited and nervous, shaky me who went to go talk to him during a break in his presentation, that he tries his best to stay in this "naked" state, as he referred to it. When people put up walls, he explained, it's a very natural thing to do and in this society, something very necessary. But he works hard to keep those walls down, sharing his ideas and inciting passion by making a very fundamental connection between himself and other people.
This idea comes across in all his photos, with which he tries to link the heart and mind- a recipe for passion.
But why does it matter so much that you keep the walls down if it's such a natural part of socialization?
I believe these protective mental blockades are detrimental to a person's ability to realize their full potential in any circumstances. When you pull down the shields it becomes easier to talk and relate to other people, which encourages an equally open response. This automatically makes someone a more outgoing and confident person because they need to concentrate so much less on what to hide and what to reveal as opposed to being free and open.
I hadn't realized how important this idea of vulnerability and nakedness was until I really thought about what it was that I was doing differently here compared to what I'd been doing up until I met the nation members. Raph mentioned he though Sweden changed me in a few ways, one of them being that I'd become more outgoing. I think that's definitely true and in that respect I have one other person to thank as well.
Starting with Sarah, who changed me from a misanthropic, antisocial nerd into a people-loving, socially fluent dork, I've come to this point where all my Swedish friends have helped me become more confident and understand life beyond my home and university. They've also shown me that the pool of people who are cool and nerdy is not as small as I'd feared. Where else would you find a mansionful of people who drink and sing until 8 in the morning and then go to a LAN party the next day?
When I became involved with this close community of people, I wasn't conscious of the fact that I was indeed being more open and unguarded. But after thinking about how much I'd miss everyone after I left, I got to wondering why that was so. After all, how many people do you meet and know for a few months then feel heartbroken about leaving? It's because we didn't have to be guarded around each other and felt comfortable to joke around and work together as if we'd known each other the entire semester.
It's going to be tough to leave this beautiful city.
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