Ahhhh! Leaving in less than 12 hours!

Hello, all!

I've set up this blog so that all may know of my exploits and victorious conquests in old Europe. The lovely Raphael Gollier will be accompanying me for part of the trip, acting as interpreter and companion.

We will begin this journey separately, but will land on the same day in Paris. Together we will brave the waves of snobbery and horrendously delicious culinary confections to conquer all in France. Then, we will continue on to Rome, staying in a cozy (or at least it appeared so in the online images) hostel a 10 minute walk from the Colosseum. I plan to have the city completely under my thumb in about 3 days, after which we will jet back west and into Belgium.

Alas, I do not think we will have enough time in lovely Brussels for me to complete my master plan. With only two days in the beating heart of the EU I will be limited to stuffing my gob with waffles, fries, chocolate, and any other sinfully delectable treats my dear Raph's godfather can whip up, then washing it down with fine champagnes...and maybe beer...but I must say I'm not really a beer person.

Following that, I will take leave of my love as he departs for the cold, ugly, windy land of Boofalo, and I continue on alone to Sweden. There, in the land of Ikea, caviar in a tube, and universal healthcare, I will spend the next 5 months studying the ways of the Swede.

Yes...the ways of the mysterious Swede...I will master them all! How, you ask? Why, it is very simple (my dear, Watson). By living and studying among them! I shall be at SLU (Swedish University of Agricultural Sciences/ Sveriges lantbruksuniversitet) taking the following courses: Sustainable development (wherein I design and attempt to implement a nefarious plan of my own to green up the already monstrously green Sweden), Stockholder facilitation (in which I learn to force adults to cease their childish behavior), and Bees, Apiculture, and Pollination (from which I hope to gain much knowledge and no stings).

Ah, the excitement overtakes me! I must retire (actually, I must first read Momo's college essays, and then I shall retire). Goodnight from Forest Hills, New York, my loyal comrades! Tonight I conquer sleep...tomorrow? THE WORLD!